All About James Spader's Very Private Relationship With Leslie Stefanson

"The Blacklist" star has been with the actress-turned-sculptor for over a decade.

james spader leslie stefanson
Trae Patton/NBC
  • The Blacklist star James Spader married his wife Victoria in 1987.
  • The couple later divorced, but share two sons, Sebastian and Elijah.
  • He has since dated Leslie Stefanson for over a decade. Together they are parents to

    Actor James Spader’s diverse career in movies and television has made him a pop culture reference across multiple decades.

    From the 80s, when James owned his breakout role of the arrogant rich jerk in the 1986 hit Pretty in Pink to the demanding-in-more-ways-than-one boss in 2002’s Secretary, he cemented his ability to play unsympathetic or uncomfortably offbeat characters. Currently, James plays the maddeningly mysterious Red Reddington on NBC’s The Blacklist.

    Many people can probably name at least one of James's most memorable roles, but they might draw a complete blank when it comes to his personal life. Did you know that James, 59, was divorced, has three children, and has been with his current love for over a decade?

    He met his wife Victoria Kheel when . The two and during that time, Victoria, who is a decorator, of James's 1989 movie Sex, Lies and Videotape. and they have two sons, Sebastian, 30, and Elijah, 27. James and Victoria divorced in 2004.

    The actor began dating actress Leslie Stefanson in 2002. The longtime couple , though Leslie retired from acting not long after to become a .

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    James and Leslie in 2015.
    Barry KingGetty Images

    The impending birth of James and Leslie's child in 2008, a son named Nathaneal, now 10, provided one of the few opportunities for the media to put James's love life center stage. the baby news after photographing James and the noticeably pregnant Leslie at Los Angeles International Airport.

    James himself remains very private about his personal life. In interviews, he discusses his work and his upbringing, but steers clear of revealing too much about his partner and children.

    As he said in a interview in 2014, “I’ve been very successful keeping a private face on things, even out in public. If you’re recognizable and you want to draw people to you in public, you can do that. I don’t. If people put their lives in the public eye a lot, people feel as if they’ve gotten to know them through the media. I try not to open the door to my private life in a public way.”

    The 57th Annual Emmy Awards - Arrivals
    James and Leslie in 2005.
    Albert L. OrtegaGetty Images

    When the Playboy interviewer pressed for details about his relationship, asking how James keeps their romance alive and interesting, the actor responded with a literary quote: “'Be of love a little more careful than of everything,' wrote E.E. Cummings. Pay attention. Take great care, especially in things that are taken for granted.”

    got James to open up about his home life only a little bit more. The outlet noted in a 2014 interview that James shares a Greenwich Village carriage house with Leslie and mentioned his three sons. It also noted that James won’t be having more children.

    “I believe in a negative population growth. The other two were with another mother, so we have three boys that will replace all three of us,” he said.

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